Do you over use your mobile phone?

Are you over using your mobile phone and feeling under pressure?

Under pressure?

Are you still following your new year resolutions?

Was one of yours to manage over use of  your mobile phone to reduce interference at home?

Take today for instance, have you already found home-work communication tricky to balance?

I published some ways that can help. Have a look here:

4 ways to wisely balance work and home – avoid Smartphone overuse

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

T: 07779 345 499

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Certified ACT practitioner
  • Support if you are being bullied, or have a member of your organisation who has made a bullying complaint
  • Certified Mediation practioner, to address workplace conflict,
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations
  • Special projects, secondments and assignments

How to Appreciate Your Colleagues This Christmas – Enjoy Team Bonding

Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas

We’ve all heard the old joke  – ‘what I don’t like about work Christmas parties is….looking for a job the next day’ [fill in your examples].

Here are three ways to show appreciation for your colleagues at Christmas.

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

T: 07779 345 499

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Certified ACT practitioner
  • Support if you are being bullied, or have a member of your organisation who has made a bullying complaint
  • Certified Mediation practioner, to address workplace conflict,
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations
  • Special projects, secondments and assignments

Photo by kantapat. Published on 28 November 2014

AntiBullying Week 2015 – how to take action when feeling bullied and you can’t trust your boss

Sometimes leaders overuse their strengths and no longer notice that they are not working abw_twitter_black_500x250well. This can lead to people feeling bullied, not listened to and makes the leader hard to work with. In helping Annette, whose boss John, overused being a ‘devils advocate’. This meant he became argumentative, and destructive – even though he thought he was being helpful and ensuring high quality work was done.

The story in this link http://mwrconsulting.co.uk/?p=2715 shows what happens in these circumstances and outline three actions that can be taken.

If you need help call me on 07779 345 499, or email me to m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

T: 07779 345 499

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Certified ACT practitioner
  • Support if you are being bullied, or have a member of your organisation who has made a bullying complaint
  • Certified Mediation practioner, to address workplace conflict,
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations
  • Special projects, secondments and assignments

 

AntiBullying Week 2015 – Do you act straight away when evidence of bullying arises?

As previous blogs in this series for #AntiBullyingWeek 2015 have shown [http://ow.ly/UNasT, http://ow.ly/UNalh] it can be abw_twitter_black_500x250hard for people to make a compliant against a leader who is a bully.

Here is a check list to help you to consider and act straight away:

1. Where evidence arises about bullying be prepared to act. No matter how senior the people involved may be.

You ignore it at your peril, so please don’t, otherwise you give bullies permission to operate

2.    Train HR to investigate well

3.    Create a culture where your people can speak up and be respected for raising interpersonal issues. Be open and aware of developing patterns of behaviour indicating an intervention may be necessary

4.    Develop a governance framework and policies that ensure welfare by holding key individuals accountable. Specifically:

  • Consider the use of upwards and 360 degree appraisal as part of your performance management process
  • Implement a whistle-blowing mechanism that provides anonymity for concerned people to call out a problem

5.    Set clear vision, strategy, objectives and goals

6.    When people say they are being bullied by their leader recognise that this may challenging for both parties and support them both through the process. Sometimes, it turns out there has been a misunderstanding. However, even when this is the case continue support. When organisations do this well it means organisational trust has a chance of being retained

7.    Keep in mind the circumstances that make an organisation attractive to a leader who is a bully:

  • Lack of checks and balances to support governance policies and processes often provide a bully with an opportunity since warning signs about developing issues get missed.
  • Change and organisational uncertainty often provides legitimate requests for more authority and control. A bully will seek to claim and retain them
  • Too many rules that are also used inflexibly can be high-jacked by a bully, simply because no one questions the legitimacy of their use

8.   Don’t appoint a bully, use psychometric assessments such as the Hogan Development Survey

9.    Be clear about the behaviours you don’t want, for example:

You ignore aggressive bullying behaviour by leaders at your peril

You ignore aggressive bullying behaviour by leaders at your peril

  • Haughty, insincere, manipulative
  • hallow, back-stabbing,
  • Lacking social and communication skills
  • Impatient, erratic, unreliable
  • Lying, cheating, bullying

10. Use your 306 degree data to identify whether you have managers whose self-perception is very wide of their team’s

11. Use reference checks thoroughly and call referees. You may discover a back story that will be told but not formally written down.

12. Use on-boarding to establish the organisations expectations and processes that are required for success. Make sure you set clear goals, establish role clarity, help people understand the formal and informal rules, and how the governance process works, including who the stakeholders are and how the decision-making networks operate

13. Use ongoing performance management to give feedback

14. Identify leaders who may have slipped through the net quickly by being open minded about developing patterns of behaviour, see point 3 above

If you need help in dealing with bullying and or help with an issue where mediation may be useful then you can reach Marjorie at MWR Consulting on 07779 345 499,m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

T: 07779 345 499

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Certified ACT practitioner
  • Support if you are being bullied, or have a member of your organisation who has made a bullying complaint
  • Certified Mediation practioner, to address workplace conflict,
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations
  • Special projects, secondments and assignments

AntiBullying Week 2015 – Two things HR need to get right to erradicate Bullying

Human Resources need to know who to believe when an incident of Bullying is reported to them. There isabw_twitter_black_500x250 a difference between a prickly situation and a bullying campaign. As we saw in Sarah’s story reporting bullying to HR takes courage (the back story is provided in this link http://mwrconsulting.co.uk/?p=9814)

First – HR Need to Investigate Bullying Thoroughly – use a template to guide your data collection

ACAS definition of bullying: Offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting behaviour, an abuse or misuse of power through means that undermine, humiliate, denigrate or injure the recipient.

Of course  behaviour may appear as bullying or assertive management depending on your viewpoint. However, 3 examples of Sarah’s complaints as quoted from the HR report indicate that Sarah was being bullied:

  1. Experiencing victimisation, and witnessing others being victimised:“Sarah witnessed Nigel bully two other members of the team, one which took place in a Team Meeting”
  2. Threats and comments made about job security that lack foundation:“Nigel announced that his team would be growing and that there would be plenty of work for everyone. Nigel then after the meeting told Sarah that it was extremely unlikely that her contract would be renewed and that she could have some time off work for interviews”
  3. Unfair treatment:” … Nigel is very aggressive and is trying to divide and rule by cleaning out the existing team and bringing in his own new team” and “being bullied feels like being stabbed in the back”

HR intentions in Sarah’s case while honourable failed to identify that bullying occurred. Later events showed this and the investigator admitted that:

“Nigel was so plausible, he managed me”

An investigation needs a structure and to use a template of questions to ensure that everyone involved has the opportunity to discuss their role in events and its impact on them. The questions ought to be based on who, what, where, when, why and how. They should hone in on personally observed situations and also upon the role, actions and feelings of the interviewee.

Circumstances may arise where there is a personality disordered bully involved. Therefore, it is useful for investigators to keep this in mind. It is important since personality disorder is revealed in a steady pattern of behaviour and resulting in relationship troubles, often evidenced in their HR file. Some personality disordered people are aware of the impact of their behaviours and others are not. Further, some may be deliberately inconsiderate. Essentially, for a personality disordered individual interpersonal issues are not their problem, they are always the other person’s. Motivation for their behaviour may be well concealed, as they may have learnt to camouflage it, especially to more senior people. More about disordered personality and bullying will feature in a future blog post.

There is evidence in Sarah’s story that the bully may have been personality disordered. There is no evidence that this crossed the investigators’ minds. Dealing with personality disordered employees is challenging, so get help from an occupational psychologist or a mediator.

Second – Use A Process – to make sure you have covered all the angles, witnesses and points of view

It beggars belief to say this, the investigation found no evidence of bullying. There seemed to be no framework and process for HR follow.

This left Sarah to use the only recourse left: mediation. In fact this was not mediation; rather it was a personal grievance process. That Sarah continued shows how determined she was not to be a victim. In my experience this is rare. Sarah said the turning point was when:

“Nigel said he did not know I was taken on as the boss’ social media specialist. I said it was common knowledge that he had applied for the job.” Sarah thought HR looked stunned by this.

That this crucial piece of evidence took so long to surface was appalling.

Things HR can do to make a difference

  • Get trained to investigate bullying and grievances, include line managers
  • Get help when the process is a challenge

In fairness, in Sarah’s case the organisation’s culture limited HR’s scope. Organisations need to develop a safe bully-free culture. A bully-free culture both makes ethical sense, and engages people at work. High organisational engagement results in far more productivity.

If you need help in dealing with bullying and or help with an issue where mediation may be useful then you can reach Marjorie at MWR Consulting on 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

T: 07779 345 499

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Certified ACT practitioner
  • Support if you are being bullied, or have a member of your organisation who has made a bullying complaint
  • Certified Mediation practioner, to address workplace conflict,
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations
  • Special projects, secondments and assignments

AntiBullying Week 2015 – 9 tips to help if you are being bullied

abw_twitter_black_500x250

The story below is true.It tells how Sarah coped with being bullied and shares nine valuable tips to help if you are being bullied at work. First published last year, I feel it is still valuable for AntiBullying Week 2015. If you need help please contact me on 07779 345 499. The story is here: http://mwrconsulting.co.uk/?p=9112

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

T: 07779 345 499

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Certified ACT practitioner
  • Support if you are being bullied, or have a member of your organisation who has made a bullying complaint
  • Certified Mediation practioner, to address workplace conflict,
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations

Special projects, secondments and assignments

 

Do you know what your values are and is your life guided by them?

CT aligns individual and team values with organisational goals

CT aligns individual and team values with organisational goals

When we are guided by values our life is easier.

Do you know what your values are and is your life guided by them?

Values are an important guide on your journey through life. They guide your direction, and your behaviour stems from them. When we are guided by values our life is easier. And when we are in conflict with them we feel upset, frustrated and perhaps even angry.

What are values?

Values are what you want to stand for deep in your heart*. Answering these questions will help you discover what yours are:

  • What do you want your life to be about?
  • What sort of things do you most want to do?
  • What type of person do you most want to be?
  • How do you want to be in your relationships with others?
  • What would you like to be remembered for by the people you love?

How do values work?

A value is like a lighthouse seen in the distance. It guides you through your journey in life, in good times as well as in challenging and difficult times.

Why are they important?

Values help you to pursue what matters to you; they aren’t goals. Rather, they are the personal choices you make about the direction of your life. (They are not about what you should, must or have to do.) Clarity about your values also gives you pointers to your goals and the actions that will help you move in your chosen direction. Values bring vitality and a sense of purpose to life.

Having clarity about your values means that you know where you are going and don’t have to keep checking you are on course. However, having clear values doesn’t ensure a straight path through life. Often you may need to change direction to get back to your values.

Values are usually stable, yet may change over time to reflect your achievements. Noticing your values change in this way represents small steps taken regarding the overall direction you have chosen. So, it’s important to stay in touch with your values, so as to support your ‘valued’ direction.

What values aren’t

Goals are way-markers along your chosen path. They can be achieved. You can tick them off and identify what you have achieved. Values, however, are behaviours we believe are important. So, you can’t achieve a value; rather you live using your values as a guide.

Individuals and teams who identify their values reap many benefits:

  • Individuals who understand their values gain insight into the behaviours that support them. This includes, for example, how they may vote, make consumer choices or choose an occupation.
  • Behaviours that are consistent with values help keep us going in our chosen direction. And behaving consistently builds trust.
  • Behaviours aligned to values develop individuals’ well-being

 Exercises to help people understand their values

  1. How to help individuals identify their values

Jump ahead to your 80th birthday party. All your friends and family, colleagues, and loved ones are there. It’s a good turn-out – imagine that all the people you have ever cared about are able to attend. Now the cake arrives. After you blow out your 80 candles everyone takes turns to talk about your personal qualities and key strengths.

Your task is this: what three things you would most want these people to say about the kind of person you have been in life? Choose whatever you want them to say about your personal qualities and key strengths. And remember: it’s your imaginary party, so please feel free to highlight what you would really want to hear people say about you on your Big Day.

  1. How to help a team identify and share their values

Before working with a team check that everyone agrees to share their top three values with each other. Start by using the exercise above, so everyone has a chance to identify their own values. Now, pair everyone up. Each partner then gets a turn at introducing the other partner – name and what job they do – and then tells everyone what the three things are that their partner would most want people to say at their 80th birthday party.

What do values look like when they have been identified?

The example below comes from an ACT coaching session with Eva. Eva is a project manager with a large UK insurance company. Her top three values are:

  • Being a loving and caring wife and mother
  • Being healthy, mentally and physically
  • Being a valued team member

* Adapted from: Harris, R (2008)The Happiness Trap (Based on ACT: A revolutionary mindfulness-based programme for overcoming stress, anxiety and depression), Robinson

Russ is very generous with materials. You can find some more here: http://www.actmindfully.com.au/

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

T: 07779 345 499

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Certified ACT practioner
  • Support if you are being bullied, or have a member of your organisation who has made a bullying complaint
  • Certified Mediation practioner, to address workplace conflict,
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations
  • Special projects, secondments and assignments

 

Is the salary-linked annual performance review dead?

Use perfromance management to coach your people and provide frequent, on-going feedback

Use performance management to coach your people and provide frequent, on-going feedback

When big names like Accenture, Adobe, Microsoft and GAP all announce they have stopped linking salary increases to annual performance reviews this underscores the fact that some organisations’ performance management techniques just don’t work.

Organisations are moving towards a wider distribution of leadership roles, as well as more flexible working (both location and hours). Along with this has come a flatter hierarchy and an increasing need for quick action. Given this, your leadership style and skills may need to be updated to make performance management more meaningful. How is your leadership style developing?

As a leader you need to have a positive attitude to performance management. When it is used in an ongoing fashion, and focuses on both individuals and teams, leaders can use it to create a highly motivated workplace.

This happens when you involve your people so that they use their team voice in helping identify good performance. Together you can develop appropriate, fair and relevant measurements that also align with company strategy. Performance evaluation needs to take place with an understanding of the challenges and issues that may not have been within the team or the individual’s control – essential to ensure assessments are fair.

To do this well, you may need training to improve your ability to tailor ongoing performance management. The best training for leaders balances both technical and soft skills. But such an effort is worthwhile because it will allow you to use ongoing positive performance management to motivate your people well – to support them in times of need; and to praise them for good work, and recognise extra effort – and be seen in a positive light to promote team bonds. Remember not everyone has a preference for receiving feedback so gauge the predominant feedback preference of your team members.

Is the salary-linked annual performance review dead? In large organisations the press seem to think so. More important is the desire and need for performance management to focus on people-development rather than people-payment no matter. Therefore, involve your people to help identify good performance. Collaborating together provides a chance that the performance management systems and techniques will be meaningful, motivating and align both your work and that of your people to organisational strategy.

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

T: 07779 345 499

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Certified ACT practioner
  • Support if you are being bullied, or have a member of your organisation who has made a bullying complaint
  • Certified Mediation practioner, to address workplace conflict,
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations
  • Special projects, secondments and assignments

Photo by nenetus

Do you have brilliant team bonds and good followship in your team?

Good follow-ship helps teams to advance their effectiveness

Good followship helps teams to advance their effectiveness (1)

Conversations with Managing Directors, senior leaders  and their people often reveal that they feel good ‘followship’ helps teams – at all levels – to advance their effectiveness. Good followship, especially by team members, is an ability to: promote team bonds, take direction well, actively support the team tasks, and deliver what is required.

 

The importance of both leadership and followship – and therefore, effective teamwork – is powerfully encapsulated by Rudyard Kipling in the first stanzas of his poem ‘The Pack’:

Now this is the law of the jungle, as old and true as the sky,

And the wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the wolf that shall break it must die.

As the creeper that girdles the tree trunk, the law runneth forward and back;

For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.

J K Kipling

J K Kipling

Kipling neatly sums up the importance of social bonds and social cohesion to team performance. His poem underlines that repercussions from poor team social cohesion can be far reaching, fatal in fact.

Thejunglebook_movieposter

Jungle Book Poster (2)

J.R. Kipling (1865-1936) is a well known late Victorian poet and story-teller. He won the Nobel Prize for literature in 1907. All Kipling’s major work remains in print. Kipling’s writing for children is still popular perhaps best represented by ‘The Jungle Book’ (1894) and inspired the film by Walt Disney Productions in 1967(2).

 

 

 

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

T: 07779 345 499

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Certified ACT practioner
  • Support if you are being bullied, or have a member of your organisation who has made a bullying complaint
  • Certified Mediation practioner, to address workplace conflict,
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations
  • Special projects, secondments and assignments
    1. Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
  1. “Thejunglebook movieposter” by Source. Licensed under Fair use via Wikipedia – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Thejunglebook_movieposter.jpg#/media/File:Thejunglebook_movieposter

How to think straight when bad things happen

When bad things happen we may have an emotional struggle

In difficult times our self talk can be harsh – like a radio turned up high – it drowns out everything else

When bad things happen they result in emotional struggle. You know what that is – the dialogue you have with your inner voice.

It often talks us out of doing something we want to do. But, in times of turmoil it can be hard to figure out exactly what to do – and even what is going on. However, psychological distance can both help gain acceptance and an objective, rational view of our feelings.

Rational thinking is hard to do in the midst of harsh self-talk we are often subject to when things are tough. It’s like a radio with the sound turned up high. It’s telling us off and berating us. What we want to do, if only we could, is to turn the sound down. The good news is that researchers* have found that we can gain psychological distance and treat self-talk as just, well, thoughts. The struggle then becomes less real and less painful – and has less power over us.

The research* showed that a small change in your self-talk – using your name rather than I, me or mine (personal pronouns) – does the trick. Here are some illustrations to show the difference:

Table Shows Friendly, Positive and Rational Advice – Use Your name

Scenario Self-talk using personal pronoun Self-talk using your name
Henry’s fear of using escalators “I’m afraid to get on an escalator” “Henry, just step onto the escalator”
Grace goes blank in exams “I just can’t do exams” “Grace, of course you can. Just walk into the room and do the exam you’ve revised for”
Sophia is anxious when she meets new people and gets tongue tied “I’m an idiot for avoiding new people” “Sophia, you can talk to new people, just go and do it”
a small change in your self-talk makes it akin to giving a friend advice

Use your own name in self-talk – makes it friendly and positive

Psychological distance makes self-talk akin to giving a friend advice. It helps us to be kind, objective and rational, to think straight, in fact.

The ‘think straight’ researcher* was inspired to undertake his research when he heard Nobel peace prize winner Malala Yousafzai tell her self-talk story (http://ow.ly/RuQzu). Her self-talk dialogue goes like this:

Q: “If the Taliban comes, what would you do Malala?”

A: “Malala, just take a shoe and hit him.”

Malala is Malala Yousafzai, is the young Pakistani female education activist who was shot by the Taliban for daring to go to school. She is also the youngest-ever person to be awarded the Nobel peace prize.

If you want to know more about this research* there is an excellent Psychology Today article here https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201505/the-voice-reason

*Kross, E (et.al), (2014) Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol 106, No 22, 301-324

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

T: 07779 345 499

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Certified ACT practioner
  • Support if you are being bullied, or have a member of your organisation who has made a bullying complaint
  • Certified Mediation practioner, to address workplace conflict,
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations
  • Special projects, secondments and assignments

Photos by:

  1. Courtesy of stockimages
  2. courtesy of Kittikun Atsawintarangkul at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
  3. courtesy of Malala Fund @MalalaFund