1 way to identify a narcissist – ask them!

“If you suspect someone in your life is a narcissist, there may be an incredibly straightforward way to confirm your suspicions: Just ask them” says Melissa Dahl: The Narcissist Test. Dahl makes this claim based on a new book: The Narcissist Test: How to spot outsized egos … and the surprising things we can learn from them by Craig Malkin (2015, Harper Collins).

For a quick summary about recognising a narcissist, please have a look at the blog I published a couple of years ago:

A narcissist can charm the birds – and recruiters – out of the trees, so don't interview alone

A narcissist can charm the birds, be a charming devil, and be destructive and unpleasant to work with

Charming the birds off the trees

Charming the birds off the trees, or a charming devil?

‘I start off as a witch, and then get a bit nicer – sometimes’

When does confidence, easy charm and the ability to persuade people to your way of thinking move towards a darker, unhealthy part of personality. More often than you may think, since research in the USA indicates that executive failure owing to personality traits costs $3m annually. Given the relative seniority of such people, these costs may be the tip of the iceberg.

Often people who are charming are successful in organisations. However, organisations are often inept at noticing those with a darkside to charm: narcissism.

Narcissists are unpleasant and destructive to work with, or for. They are self absorbed, have vaulting ambition with inflated and at times, unrealistic opinions about themselves, particularly in relation to others. Examples I have heard are “I can make a profit anywhere”, “I start off as a witch, and then get a bit nicer, sometimes”, “I have made a mistake accepting this new job, it is not big enough for me”. Even just three statements show their sense of entitlement and exemption from standards and norms. In gaining entitlement they can be vicious, deliberately sabotage careers of others, and are good at managing their managers. Significantly, they feel no remorse. Equally, they can be charismatic, dramatic and exciting.

So, if your recruitment and performance management systems can’t tell the difference between someone who can healthily ‘charm the birds off the trees’ and someone who is an unhealthy ‘charming devil’ take heed! It’s simply not true that devilish individuals won’t rise to important positions. There is evidence that some well known and initially respected business leaders, sports people, politicians and religious leaders have narcissist personality traits.

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

T: 07779 345 499

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Certified ACT practioner
  • Support if you are being bullied, or have a member of your organisation who has made a bullying complaint
  • Certified Mediation practioner, to address workplace conflict,
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations
  • Special projects, secondments and assignments