AntiBullying Week 2015 – how to take action when feeling bullied and you can’t trust your boss

Sometimes leaders overuse their strengths and no longer notice that they are not working abw_twitter_black_500x250well. This can lead to people feeling bullied, not listened to and makes the leader hard to work with. In helping Annette, whose boss John, overused being a ‘devils advocate’. This meant he became argumentative, and destructive – even though he thought he was being helpful and ensuring high quality work was done.

The story in this link http://mwrconsulting.co.uk/?p=2715 shows what happens in these circumstances and outline three actions that can be taken.

If you need help call me on 07779 345 499, or email me to m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

T: 07779 345 499

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Certified ACT practitioner
  • Support if you are being bullied, or have a member of your organisation who has made a bullying complaint
  • Certified Mediation practioner, to address workplace conflict,
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations
  • Special projects, secondments and assignments

 

AntiBullying Week 2015 – Do you act straight away when evidence of bullying arises?

As previous blogs in this series for #AntiBullyingWeek 2015 have shown [http://ow.ly/UNasT, http://ow.ly/UNalh] it can be abw_twitter_black_500x250hard for people to make a compliant against a leader who is a bully.

Here is a check list to help you to consider and act straight away:

1. Where evidence arises about bullying be prepared to act. No matter how senior the people involved may be.

You ignore it at your peril, so please don’t, otherwise you give bullies permission to operate

2.    Train HR to investigate well

3.    Create a culture where your people can speak up and be respected for raising interpersonal issues. Be open and aware of developing patterns of behaviour indicating an intervention may be necessary

4.    Develop a governance framework and policies that ensure welfare by holding key individuals accountable. Specifically:

  • Consider the use of upwards and 360 degree appraisal as part of your performance management process
  • Implement a whistle-blowing mechanism that provides anonymity for concerned people to call out a problem

5.    Set clear vision, strategy, objectives and goals

6.    When people say they are being bullied by their leader recognise that this may challenging for both parties and support them both through the process. Sometimes, it turns out there has been a misunderstanding. However, even when this is the case continue support. When organisations do this well it means organisational trust has a chance of being retained

7.    Keep in mind the circumstances that make an organisation attractive to a leader who is a bully:

  • Lack of checks and balances to support governance policies and processes often provide a bully with an opportunity since warning signs about developing issues get missed.
  • Change and organisational uncertainty often provides legitimate requests for more authority and control. A bully will seek to claim and retain them
  • Too many rules that are also used inflexibly can be high-jacked by a bully, simply because no one questions the legitimacy of their use

8.   Don’t appoint a bully, use psychometric assessments such as the Hogan Development Survey

9.    Be clear about the behaviours you don’t want, for example:

You ignore aggressive bullying behaviour by leaders at your peril

You ignore aggressive bullying behaviour by leaders at your peril

  • Haughty, insincere, manipulative
  • hallow, back-stabbing,
  • Lacking social and communication skills
  • Impatient, erratic, unreliable
  • Lying, cheating, bullying

10. Use your 306 degree data to identify whether you have managers whose self-perception is very wide of their team’s

11. Use reference checks thoroughly and call referees. You may discover a back story that will be told but not formally written down.

12. Use on-boarding to establish the organisations expectations and processes that are required for success. Make sure you set clear goals, establish role clarity, help people understand the formal and informal rules, and how the governance process works, including who the stakeholders are and how the decision-making networks operate

13. Use ongoing performance management to give feedback

14. Identify leaders who may have slipped through the net quickly by being open minded about developing patterns of behaviour, see point 3 above

If you need help in dealing with bullying and or help with an issue where mediation may be useful then you can reach Marjorie at MWR Consulting on 07779 345 499,m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

T: 07779 345 499

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Certified ACT practitioner
  • Support if you are being bullied, or have a member of your organisation who has made a bullying complaint
  • Certified Mediation practioner, to address workplace conflict,
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations
  • Special projects, secondments and assignments

14 Steps to Start Addressing Behaviours of a Leader Who is Also a Bully

1.Where evidence arises about bullying be prepared to act. No matter how senior the people involved may be

1. Where evidence arises about bullying be prepared to act. No matter how senior the people involved may be

As the previous blogs in this series (http://mwrconsulting.co.uk/?page_id=117)  have shown how hard it can be for a team member to make a complaint against a leader who is a bully. The power and reputational advantages of leadership often mean people like Sarah are not believed. Eventually Sarah was believed, yet her contract was not renewed and the bully stayed employed. Much of the difficulty was owing to poor investigation processes and weak management who would rather not renew a contract than manage a leader who was a bully.

Is it any wonder that CIPD estimates that bullying costs the UK economy £2 billion? Do you have concerns? Then take these 14 steps:

1.    Where evidence arises about bullying be prepared to act. No matter how senior the people involved may be.

You ignore it at your peril, so please don’t, otherwise you give bullies permission to operate

2.    Train HR to investigate well

3.    Create a culture where your people can speak up and be respected for raising interpersonal issues. Be open and aware of developing patterns of behaviour indicating an intervention may be necessary

4.    Develop a governance framework and policies that ensure welfare by holding key individuals accountable. Specifically:

  • Consider the use of upwards and 360 degree appraisal as part of your performance management process
  • Implement a whistle-blowing mechanism that provides anonymity for concerned people to call out a problem

5.    Set clear vision, strategy, objectives and goals

6.    When people say they are being bullied by their leader recognise that this may challenging for both parties and support them both through the process. Sometimes, it turns out there has been a misunderstanding. However, even when this is the case continue support. When organisations do this well it means organisational trust has a chance of being retained

7.    Keep in mind the circumstances that make an organisation attractive to a leader who is a bully:

  • Lack of checks and balances to support governance policies and processes often provide a bully with an opportunity since warning signs about developing issues get missed.
  • Change and organisational uncertainty often provides legitimate requests for more authority and control. A bully will seek to claim and retain them
  • Too many rules that are also used inflexibly can be high-jacked by a bully, simply because no one questions the legitimacy of their use

8.   Don’t appoint a bully, use psychometric assessments such as the Hogan Development Survey

9.    Be clear about the behaviours you don’t want, for example:

You ignore aggressive bullying behaviour by leaders at your peril

You ignore aggressive bullying behaviour by leaders at your peril

  • Haughty, insincere, manipulative
  • hallow, back-stabbing,
  • Lacking social and communication skills
  • Impatient, erratic, unreliable
  • Lying, cheating, bullying

10. Use your 306 degree data to identify whether you have managers whose self-perception is very wide of their team’s

11. Use reference checks thoroughly and call referees. You may discover a back story that will be told but not formally written down.

12. Use on-boarding to establish the organisations expectations and processes that are required for success. Make sure you set clear goals, establish role clarity, help people understand the formal and informal rules, and how the governance process works, including who the stakeholders are and how the decision-making networks operate

13. Use ongoing performance management to give feedback

14. Identify leaders who may have slipped through the net quickly by being open minded about developing patterns of behaviour, see point 3 above

If you need help in dealing with bullying and or help with an issue where mediation may be useful then you can reach Marjorie at MWR Consulting on 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

 

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

T: 07779 345 499

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Support if you are being bullied, or have a member of your organisation who has made a bullying complaint
  • Mediation, to address workplace conflict
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations
  • Special projects, secondments and assignments

 

3 Things You Can Do to Survive Inconsistent Untrustworthy Leadership Behaviour

inconsistent behaviour destroys trust

Inconsistent behaviour is toxic and destroys trust

Inconsistent behaviour prevents trust from being built and sustained. It is hard to survive. Distrust is a toxic symptom that may occur when a leader behaves inconsistently. This management style can lead to employees feeling uncomfortable, unappreciated and even betrayed.

Read John’s story about his boss Annette shows:

“…Annette tells me to do a job, and then when it is done she somewhat petulantly points out the other things I have not done. Even though they were never discussed, and are sometimes at odds with what was agreed”. However, “…Annette tells me she knows she changes her mind. However, she does not seem to remember that when she next changes her mind. I think she thinks I am hopeless…”

So how does this make John feel?

“I can’t trust the direction she gives, not because it is bad, far from it, it’s just I know she will not like what I have done without realising she has changed her mind.”

“…I don’t mind that she changes her mind if she acknowledged it. Then I would not feel so blamed… maybe she would not appear so angry”

“I don’t commit to my work as I much as I would like as it is never good enough and after a while I just feel rubbish”

What are your thoughts on John’s story?

Three things that John can do:

1. Take some time to talk to Annette. Explain how he is feeling and ask her how she is

2. Agree some boundaries, keep Annette updated with what you have agreed and if she changes her mind than agree how to convey that to you

3. Protect himself, don’t take inconsistent behaviour personally

 

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

T: 07779 345 499

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Special projects, secondments and assignments
  • Mediation, to address workplace conflict
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations

 

Are you blind to toxic behaviours that destroy trust?

Spot toxic leadership

Spot toxic leadership

In my last blog I discussed how inconsistent behaviour destroys trust. Imagine then how it feels if a leader or team member is suffering from a personality disordered or experiencing a period of mental ill-health? Often a toxic environment develops. This is particularly difficult when it is the leaders whose behaviour is problematic.

The work environment may feel unstable, contradictory and ultimately toxic; within an environment like this it is hard to flourish and almost always leads to a feeling of distrust.

A leader with a personality disorder also shows further destructive behaviours within their personal relationships at work. Personality disordered leaders, for example narcissists, often attain promotion in organisations. If you’d like more information have a look at my earlier blog ‘Charming the birds off the trees’. Click here http://mwrconsulting.co.uk/?p=243: .

If you have toxic leadership in your organisation then ensure you act now to get them the help and support that they need.

Things you can do:

  1. Provide a Corporate governance framework and policies that ensure welfare by holding key individuals accountable. Specifically:
      1.  Consider the use of upwards and 360 degree appraisal the performance management process
      2. Implement a whistle-blowing mechanism that provides anonymity for concerned people to call out a problem
  2. Build, motivate and provide direction to leadership teams throughout the organisation
  3. Set clear vision, strategy, objectives and goals
  4. Coach and train and support people:
      1.  Many people experiencing difficult and emotionally draining life experiences when given support and understanding will recover their functioning. Organisations that do this well often find that trust in the organisation, its leaders and within teams may be successfully rebuilt.
      2. However, those people with unhealthy or disordered behaviours are unlikely to believe there is any need for them to be coached. They are unlikely to have the motivation to change. If they do accept the idea, identify a coach with in-depth experience of coaching personality disorders.
  5. Where evidence arises about distrust that seems to point to the dark side of an individual leader, the organisation should be prepared to act.
  6. Some personality disorders can cause such organisational havoc that it is best to avoid employing them in the first place. For more information see my earlier blog here: http://mwrconsulting.co.uk/?p=339

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

T: 07779 345 499

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Special projects, secondments and assignments
  • Mediation, to address workplace conflict
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations

Can you rebuild trust?

You can regain team confidence ...

You can regain team confidence …

Certainly you can. However, it won’t be easy…..

In fact, it remains the case, of course that is best not to break trust in the first place. However, if you have concerns this article from @Harvard may help you:  http://ow.ly/viNYI

 

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

 

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

T: 07779 345 499

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Special projects, secondments and assignments
  • Mediation, to address workplace conflict
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations

 

 

Can people trust you?

Do people you work with trust you?

Do people you work with trust you?

My last blog talked about trust as an organisational asset . Yet, evidence (see ACAS@acasorguk, CIPD @cipd, CIM@cmi_managers) suggests that trust amongst organisations and leaders is at an all time low!

 

So, how trustworthy are you?

 

Have a go at these questions:

1. Do you show a genuine interest in others:

        • Do people often open up to you?
        • You don’t engage in gossip especially about what people have confided?

2. Are you willing to involve others in decisions that affect them?

3. Do you have a reputation for:

  • Being consistent?
  • Telling the truth?
  • Honouring your promises?

4. Do you doubt that people will do their best?

5. Are you prepared to compromise the organisational vision and values for personal gain?

6.Do you tell lies to benefit yourself?

7. Do you make yourself look good at the expenses of others?

8. Are you impatient and unwilling to listen to views that diverge from your own?

If you have answered ‘yes’ to questions 1 to 4 and ‘no’ from 5 to 8 then its great news…this suggests you’re trustworthy!

If you have results that indicate a tendency to lapse into behaviour that may create distrust, have a look at my previous bold here: http://mwrconsulting.co.uk/?p=2608

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

T: 07779 345 499

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Special projects, secondments and assignments
  • Mediation, to address workplace conflict
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level
  • Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations

 

 

 

Do you regard trust as a major financial asset?

Trusting others can feel risky

Trusting others can feel risky

Trust means being willing to accept that other people will behave positively and collaboratively. Of course, this requires that you’ll genuinely believe people won’t let you down…and this can feel risky1.

Trust matters; when it is absent organisations are less productive than when it’s present, and so it really is a valuable asset, helping to generate revenue and decrease costs. So, how do you develop trust? Well, trust is built when organisations support and encourage ‘trusting perceptions’ amongst its leaders and employees.

5 things that you can do:

1. Trust begets trust…and yes you’ve guessed it, distrust begets distrust! In order to create trust you must first demonstrate it through your behaviour:

    • First and foremost…..tell the truth
    • Abide by agreements and deliver on promises
    • Involve colleagues in decision making
    • Show respect for the points of view that diverge from your own
    • Show interest in others

However, be warned, research also shows that if your behaviour on any of the above points is not genuine then people will quickly notice; this is no way to go about building trust!

2. Set and manage your expectations. Ensure you put trust in others and believe in them to do their best.

3. Trust needs to be built, start by going the extra mile to help your colleagues (known as: organisational citizenship behaviours).

4. Everyday behaviour – what you say and what you do – drives trust development. Therefore:

    • Advance your integrity using consistent words and actions
    • Align what you say and do to the vision and values

5. Monitor how well you develop trusting relations. Identify where perceptions of your trustworthiness may need to be strengthened. For example:

    • Take the opportunity to undergo training regarding the development of trust with colleagues and leaders.
    • Ensure that you show concern for others

Reach us at 07779 345 499, m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

Marjorie Raymond

Marjorie Raymond

T: 07779 345 499

E: m.raymond@mwrconsulting.co.uk

We have experience in developing senior managers and their team members – both on an individual and team level – so they can develop practical approaches that encourage positive, constructive behaviour. This, in turn, leads to the development of positive beliefs and values. We are ready work with you, to help you get the best out of your people.

Here are some examples of approaches that can be used and tailored to your individual needs:

  • Special projects, secondments and assignments
  • Mediation, to address workplace conflict
  • Personal development activities
  • Individual and group coaching…Coaching – a powerful way of developing people
  • Psychometric assessment, which can identify strengths as well as derailing behaviours and also include 360 degree feedback
  • Structured module for understanding the psychological contracts in your organisation, both at an individual or team level

Straight Talking: …Straight Talking create change through conversations